Wednesday, November 19

I Have No Thought of Leaving

More things we like

Ah, well, routines. In the middle of putting the Critter to bed last night, he wound himself back up into a colicky fit. Bless Dr. Karp, though; it took all five S's, but I did calm the Critter down, and we slept well last night.

While I soothed the Critter and listened to our lullaby mix, a couple lines in "Beautiful Boy" stood out: "I can hardly wait / To see you come of age." These lines stood out not because John Lennon sadly never did see Sean grow up, but because I feel so different about the Critter. No matter how difficult any given day or night might be, I do not ever wish for him to be a moment older than he is just now. If time must pass, why can't it pass more slowly? And so the second song on our mix is Nina Simone's version of "Who Knows Where the Time Goes?" This song became a favorite from the moment I first heard it, because it so beautifully evokes the sadness I feel about the swiftness of change and the insubstantiality of the present. Already the Critter is so big, and who knows where my little tiny baby has gone?

1 comment:

Russell Kahn said...

As a parent of a baby boy myself, I've definitely listened to Beautiful Boy one or two hundred times. And as a testament to the power of the Beatles' music, it really doesn't get old.

Ben Harper sings a great version of it on the "Instant Karma/Save Darfur" compilation that came out in the summer of 2007.

I appreciate your in-the-momentness but I admit that I've identified with Lennon--and there have been times when I've wished Owen was just a bit older. Sometimes I'll wish he could tell me what's bothering him or have him understand that changing his diaper will honestly make him feel better. (Or maybe I just want someone to play catch with.)

But then, there he is, running around the house and screaming "Kick!" as he kicks the myriad balls on the floor, and it seems like an eternity since he was a newborn. You can never go back.