tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-183179292011-07-28T12:01:45.279-04:00Mothering. Education. Creativity. Work. Books.Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.comBlogger751100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-2660854869181961922010-10-13T13:07:00.000-04:002010-10-13T13:07:53.792-04:00

The Variegated Life has moved! To read new posts, click here!

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-62117732537205288422010-08-12T09:01:00.000-04:002010-08-12T09:01:50.140-04:00

We leave for vacation early tomorrow morning. I hope that we get to the lake in time to see something like this view: Lake Ossipee at twilight I'm bringing a bathing suit and some books! To read! I'm most excited about finally having the chance to read Mothers and Others by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy. We'll probably eat some lobsters and ice cream. The Critter's grandparents will be with us for a

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-46988066520606964432010-08-10T09:40:00.000-04:002010-08-10T09:40:30.852-04:00

Tuesdays at The Variegated Life: a look at how I'm making this working-at-home-while-mothering thing work. Or how I'm trying to make it work, anyway ... Though I often fantasize about the day when I cross the last item off my to-do list, the truth is that that day will never come. I try to remind myself that the never-ending to-do list is a good thing. I have things to do! I’m alive! However,

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-20887433658669554242010-08-06T09:02:00.000-04:002010-08-06T09:02:37.453-04:00

{this moment} A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama: A single photo — no words — capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment to pause, savor, and remember.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-62937695262743059032010-08-05T10:19:00.000-04:002010-08-05T10:19:50.060-04:00

It's a joke my Polish great-grandmother used to say whenever you did something silly or stupid: Who invited you? And now it's been one year ten months two weeks and four days since the Critter was born, and still I look at him trotting down the sidewalk ahead of me, practicing his jumping, playing with his cars, drawing with his crayons, writing with my pens ... and I wonder: Where did you come

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-56024251601735839702010-08-03T10:44:00.000-04:002010-08-03T10:44:47.849-04:00

Tuesdays at The Variegated Life: a look at how I'm making this working-at-home-while-mothering thing work. Or how I'm trying to make it work, anyway ... My mind is full of plans and garbage, garbage and plans. Every night in zazen I see it, let it go, return to the breath, see it, let it go, return to the breath ... and every night in zazen there it is again: plans and garbage, garbage and plans

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-87685333629789736152010-08-02T10:01:00.000-04:002010-08-02T10:01:07.608-04:00

I spent much of last week lost in the thick of samsara. I often get lost when I'm working on a project that scares me, either because it feels too big for the time I have to work on it or because it challenges my capabilities. Last week's project was big and involved skills that aren't typically the focus of my work (copyediting), and I coped with the stress as I often do: I jettisoned pretty

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-69623839710651053012010-07-30T20:02:00.000-04:002010-07-30T20:02:57.742-04:00

{this moment} A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama: A single photo — no words — capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment to pause, savor, and remember.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-42764832080845608102010-07-27T09:42:00.000-04:002010-07-27T09:42:12.990-04:00

The Fool, Key 0 in the Major Arcana of the Tarot, has long been a talisman for me, mainly because it represents so much that I am afraid of. I am afraid of risk, and I am afraid of looking foolish. The Fool, on the other hand, though inexperienced, is open to experience. The Fool is often surprised, sometimes happily so, and sometimes not. The Fool makes mistakes, but the Fool learns. "The

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-87923080461033178812010-07-26T10:14:00.000-04:002010-07-26T10:14:04.055-04:00

As I wrote last week, I did finally read that article in New York magazine about parenting and happiness. I was curious whether or not it addresses the extraordinary lack of support afforded to parents in the United States. As it turns out, it does, and it doesn't. Author Jennifer Senior cites a study by sociology professor Hans-Peter Kohler, who found that "countries with stronger welfare

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-12529556849533167642010-07-23T09:37:00.000-04:002010-07-23T09:37:02.974-04:00

{this moment} A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama: A single photo — no words — capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment to pause, savor, and remember.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-64394739925777443002010-07-19T09:52:00.000-04:002010-07-19T09:52:55.621-04:00

I went a little bonkers after reading this recent post by Lisa Belkin at Motherlode. I am grateful for this passionate reply by Courtroom Mama (via @BirthingKristen). Yeah, what she said, exactly. And, to add to what she said ... Belkin also fails to acknowledge the larger context in which women give birth in this country. The context in which, for example, the c-section rate is above 30%—more

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-70437795916943038112010-07-16T09:46:00.000-04:002010-07-16T09:46:17.222-04:00

{this moment} A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama (and new for me!): A single photo — no words — capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment to pause, savor, and remember.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-55511894608676732452010-07-13T15:33:00.000-04:002010-07-13T15:33:54.278-04:00

Our "original mind" includes everything within itself. It is always rich and sufficient within itself.... In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few. — from Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki Roshi Scribble in Pink and Orange This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge: More time for kisses, less fuss.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-3336704816050560852010-07-12T10:18:00.001-04:002010-07-12T10:21:17.909-04:00

First, be warned: I'm going to geek out on you in this post. Second, I'll admit that I have not read the recent New York magazine cover story about how very unhappy parenting is making us all. Frankly, I'm not sure that I can stomach it, based on one quotation from the article, in which Stumbling on Happiness author Daniel Gilbert says that prospective parents "have to think about which kind of

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-44277030779299376292010-07-09T10:02:00.000-04:002010-07-09T10:02:34.602-04:00

So, it's happening again: water making its way from our upstairs neighbors' apartment down through the ceiling and into our apartment. Last summer a soggy chunk of the living room ceiling fell onto the floor. The summer before that, we had a hole in the bathroom wall that after many, many calls to building management was finally patched up the day before the Critter was born. This summer (more

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-29304934662032133582010-07-08T10:42:00.000-04:002010-07-08T10:42:49.247-04:00

Fifteen years ago today I made my way from Simsbury, Connecticut to New Haven (I don't remember how—did my father drive me?) and from there via Metro North with my then-boyfriend to New York City. From Grand Central Terminal we took the shuttle to Times Square, and from there maybe we took the 1 train to 79th Street, except that I dimly recall that there was some kind of problem that forced us to

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-58413129182583238242010-07-06T09:41:00.000-04:002010-07-06T09:41:48.825-04:00

My first thought upon waking on January 1, 2007 was that I did not want to wake to another new year still working for the company I was working for at the time. Seven months later I quit and began freelancing. My original plan, however, had been to quit back in 2005, after my wedding and the completion of the largest project my group had yet undertaken, but for various reasons (not the least of

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-90921818748274952992010-07-03T15:10:00.000-04:002010-07-03T15:10:13.328-04:00

I've been obsessed with the Great Pacific Garbage Patch since I first heard about it on This American Life (episode 253: The Middle of Nowhere). Nevertheless, whenever I hear about projects like Taina's attempt to eliminate the use of plastics for one year (via Apartment Therapy), I have two contradictory thoughts: To eliminate or at least curb my use of plastics: what a gift to give to the

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-52497083321494384142010-07-02T15:30:00.000-04:002010-07-02T15:30:08.044-04:00

In fact, I'm finding that the CSA makes my life easier, not harder, because the contents of the half share make my decisions for me. No more drawing a blank when it's time to write up our weekly menu. Last week we got lettuce, kale (my choice from a selection of greens), an onion, tomatoes, string beans, zucchini, cucumbers, basil, and beets. I made a salad and sandwiches (Thursday), string

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-85180155736543648372010-06-29T22:24:00.000-04:002010-06-29T22:24:49.957-04:00

I'm reading Linchpin by Seth Godin—or sort of reading it, in the lazy, distracted, uncommitted, skipping-around way of reading that has become almost habitual for me since the birth of the Critter. I'm not particularly interested in what Godin has to say about becoming a linchpin or being a linchpin or whatever, but I am very interested in what he has to say about my lizard brain (tormenting me

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-76233889478560278862010-06-17T22:06:00.000-04:002010-06-17T22:06:45.975-04:00

For as long as I can remember, I have put work before just about everything else. To tell why I have done so would be to tell a long story, and probably some day I will tell the story. But for now, I just want to say that I recently have noticed that when someone asks how I have been doing, I tend to talk about work: how much work I have to do, whether or not I like it, how much sleep I am

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-12454087892460524512010-06-16T14:59:00.000-04:002010-06-16T14:59:21.417-04:00

I take it back. Whether you are awesome or you suck, the credit or the blame goes to your genius—according to the ancient Greeks, anyway.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-59070210523447110552010-06-16T14:54:00.000-04:002010-06-16T14:54:28.461-04:00

As I've written before, the best (only?) way to keep your sanity while taking care of a child (or children) while working at home is to get organized. We're not really organized, but we're getting there. My goal is to have everything that needs to be done captured on a list, on a calendar, or in a routine (a personal variation on David Allen's program for getting things done). For example, my

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-7416160256863036642010-06-12T16:47:00.000-04:002010-06-12T16:47:39.544-04:00

It is in our collective interest that children be raised well, but evidently we are not doing such a good job of taking care of them: 21 percent of American children will be living in poverty this year, and 500,000 may be homeless (the link tweeted by @laura11D; her blog is here). And by we I don't mean that individual families are doing a poor job, but all of us, together. And did you know that

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-72391464353689428252010-06-09T14:37:00.000-04:002010-06-09T14:37:20.466-04:00

Still ISO ways to get greens into the Critter. As I wrote last week, I thought we'd try some green smoothies (fruit smoothies with some spinach or kale or chard or another leafy green thrown in). After all, the Critter did enjoy quite a few yogurt smoothies with me last summer. Last summer, post–smoothie enjoyment But alas, while the Critter watched me make the first of two smoothies this

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-88029784939185048102010-06-05T17:05:00.000-04:002010-06-05T17:05:13.414-04:00

The discussion last night of The War on Moms by Sharon Lerner at Kris Waldherr's Art and Words Gallery was lively and invigorating. And yet ... I returned home in a foul mood. What brought on the bad mood? Was it the news that of more than 170 nations on this planet, only four provide no paid leave for new mothers: Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, Liberia, and the good ol' U.S.A.? Was it Lerner's

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-18508826834460126612010-06-04T15:42:00.000-04:002010-06-04T15:42:10.280-04:00

Or, perhaps, on my many minds? I should say that I can't quite believe that I follow "the most popular marketing blog in the world." Marketing! Gah! And yet, Seth Godin has caught my interest because his insights into the self-defeating workings of what he calls the lizard brain has helped me understand the origins of what my writing teacher calls the shitbird. No, Seth, the noise inside your

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-68693929312997201892010-06-01T15:51:00.000-04:002010-06-01T15:51:16.543-04:00

I haven't been paying as much as attention to the soon-to-be-released Common Core State Standards as I probably ought to be, given my profession. I just took a glimpse at the Web site, which today includes nothing more than the logo and the statement, "The Common Core State Standards will be available at this link Wednesday, June 2 at 10 a.m. Please check back at that time." Taking a closer look

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-60167245691202056332010-04-29T14:45:00.002-04:002010-04-29T14:53:08.834-04:00

The most recent issue of Bookforum arrived with photographs that have much amused Beckett (my husband) and me. If you find these photos amusing, too, then perhaps you might understand why the idea of going on a beach vacation with Beckett (my husband) is more or less unimaginable to me. Even though I technically have done so.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-77220681553807770422010-04-29T14:22:00.003-04:002010-04-29T14:45:01.276-04:00

While reading TheOrganicSister's response to a recent kerfuffle about unschooling (about which I was otherwise unaware), I felt again the paradox of my karma, which has some 98% of my income generated via my editorial contributions to educational products that, for the most part, I cannot endorse.We live in New York City, and so educational options for the Critter abound. On the other hand, with

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-81790650028635667852010-04-26T21:33:00.000-04:002010-04-26T21:33:38.538-04:00

Should you ever plan to do something crazy like take care of your child (or, yikes, children!) while working from home, my advice to you would be: get organized. Would that someone had advised me so before I set forth on this path! Exhibit A: Work at home with child OK, things have improved since I took that photo last November, but still too often I find myself either pumped up with

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-41757687693392805082010-04-13T21:25:00.000-04:002010-04-13T21:25:40.190-04:00

Over at Stop Homework, FedUpMom has a different take on the topic I took up in my last post. Though she does see that it takes hard work to develop talent, she doesn't believe that "the biggest dif­fer­ence between me and Mozart is that Mozart got more prac­tice." She continues, "My biggest fear about the idea of hours of prac­tice is that it will be applied unthink­ingly to our kids, many of

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-9460660480368540162010-04-06T21:58:00.001-04:002010-04-06T21:59:54.005-04:00

As described on a recent-ish (two weeks ago! I'm so slow....) interview on the Brian Lehrer Show, The Genius in All of Us, Why Everything You've Been Told About Genetics, Talent, and IQ Is Wrong by David Shenk argues that, for the most part, genius is not in the genes. Though some people may be genetically advantaged (or disadvantaged), these advantages do not in themselves "cause" genius. Far

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-87748481622824035992010-04-04T15:32:00.005-04:002010-04-04T22:59:01.260-04:00

My mother once said that when I grew older, I would prefer Easter to Christmas. As it has turned out, I still love Christmas — it spangles the darkest month of the year! — and no longer observe Easter. Springtime itself is the resurrection I celebrate. Today would have been my mother's sixty-third birthday, and it was glorious: the sun warm, the sky cloudless, and all over the city, the magnolia

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-56350238568512380292010-03-30T14:49:00.001-04:002010-03-30T15:30:31.232-04:00

I was honored to be included in a reading at the KGB Bar this January. The reading was recorded, and though the video was posted to YouTube quite some time ago, only late last night did I venture to watch it. I watched with a sense of fascinated narcissism and repelled shame, and I was left with a sense of dissatisfaction with my work. So I can make people laugh, big deal, so what?An hour or so

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-71902245098717893552010-03-14T16:03:00.003-04:002010-03-14T16:19:36.307-04:00

This is what you have been waiting for, he used to say to me.And I'd say, What?And he'd say, This — holding up my cheese and mustard sandwich.And I'd say, What?And he'd say, This, sort of looking around.— Marie Howe, from "The Gate"In the days after the Critter was first born, I felt as though my old life — the one in which nobody wailed day and night for the sustenance of my milk, my warm arms —

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-21472545765901245572010-02-24T17:31:00.000-05:002010-02-24T17:31:22.363-05:00

Lately I've had Ogden Nash on my mind, specifically his poem "Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man," which hit me like a kick to the gut the first time I heard it, probably on WNYC. In the poem, Nash compares the sins of omission with the sins of commission and concludes that if you are going to sin, at least to "remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing." After all, "you

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-4210101878126985022010-02-15T21:38:00.001-05:002010-02-24T17:36:42.994-05:00

A long time ago, I promised a post on commitment mechanisms. At the time, I was reading Kidding Ourselves, by Rhona Mahony, who applies economics and game theory in an attempt to give women the tools to negotiate for a better deal in their marriages. For six months, I did not write the promised post. I was too busy, and I was too angry.Why so angry? As it happens, the anger and resentment that I

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-12836323844121702282010-02-08T21:00:00.001-05:002010-02-08T21:01:29.957-05:00

Or, Life as a Work-at-Home MomI work while the Critter naps and at night, after he has gone to bed, sometimes until 1:00 or 2:00 or even (two or three times) 3:00 in the morning. By then, the Critter usually has joined Beckett in bed, and so my favorite time of the day is at the end of it, when I creep quietly as I can into the bedroom, lie down, and cuddle in the darkness with my two boys. More

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-36529910484325811572010-02-03T10:14:00.000-05:002010-02-03T10:14:41.902-05:00

Yesterday, a conversation with writer and artist Summer Pierre on the Brian Lehrer show. Her book is The Artist in the Office. Of particular interest was her insight that the office job is not necessarily a soul-sucking affair; it can actually be a source of material. As for me, I create my art at the office, which is in the bedroom and next to the nursery. I'm working hard at Rule #1. In a

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-17186967981262898272010-01-12T15:53:00.002-05:002010-02-01T21:10:42.647-05:00

I've passed the last six months working too much and too hard. I would like to say that in the meantime, I've forgotten who I am, except that I have always worked too much and too hard. In truth, I've forgotten not who I am, but who I'd like to be. The self-defeating part of me, which my writing teacher calls "the shitbird," would like me to keep busy, keep forgetting, keep going through life as

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-11754619479927604632009-10-31T11:43:00.000-04:002009-10-31T11:43:56.645-04:00

Although these days I'm only dimly aware that people continue to make and release movies, somehow or another I know that a film version of Where the Wild Things Are is now out in theaters. Manohla Dargis's review in the New York Times intrigues me, and I generally admire the work of (director and co-writer) Spike Jonze and (co-writer) Dave Eggers, but I doubt that Beckett and I will be paying the

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-16779476147756834732009-09-17T10:27:00.000-04:002009-09-17T10:27:06.357-04:00

Wasn't it just April, the leaves just beginning to appear, and the Critter not yet crawling? And now it is September, the days growing cooler, the nights falling earlier ... and the Critter one year old today! At the beginning of August, I took on a bunch of work, which I managed poorly, and I found myself wishing away the miserable, too-hot month. I kept reminding myself, it will be over soon

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-17299093288909711252009-09-09T10:05:00.000-04:002009-09-09T10:05:30.899-04:00

A scene from last night ... Beckett: What are you making for dinner tonight? Me: Poison. Commentary What strikes me about this scene isn't as much the script, lifted word-for-word from my childhood but with me now speaking my mother's line, as much as the violent irritation I feel when asked what I am making for dinner. It is as though Beckett is checking whether or not whatever I have

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-22019031110389945732009-08-03T11:02:00.000-04:002009-08-03T11:02:22.811-04:00

The picture caption in my most recent post may not have been accurate, in that the Critter may not really have a BATNA relative to his relationship with Beckett and me, because that relationship, unlike marriage, is probably not a negotiation. Probably not, maybe not ... or maybe so??? Again, Mahony's definition of a negotiation is “any situation in which two or more people are interdependent,

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-54874627961095975982009-07-31T16:26:00.000-04:002009-07-31T16:26:32.010-04:00

As I wrote earlier this week, Rhona Mahony’s book Kidding Ourselves has gotten me thinking about my power to bargain with my artist husband. Mahony argues that women will not achieve economic equality until the cessation of the sexual division of labor, in which fathers tend to be the primary breadwinner in their families and mothers tend to be the primary homemaker and parent. Though Mahony does

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-76735545263423330792009-07-29T14:56:00.000-04:002009-07-29T14:56:35.058-04:00

More things we like Because of the cool, dim break from the damp, bright heat. Because I can feel both safe and a little scared. Because of the thrill of being alive to witness such awesome drama: the rumbling, the roaring, the clouds piled high, the sudden crack of lightning. And the rain, the relief of the rain.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-86959603828951529072009-07-28T11:02:00.000-04:002009-07-28T11:02:26.128-04:00

My mother once told me I should marry rich. Alas, alas; instead, I married an artist. I have tended to think of Beckett’s artistic ambitions both as in conflict with my own and as a financial burden on our relationship. However, I've been reading Kidding Ourselves, by Rhona Mahony, and am now reconsidering many of my assumptions about my unconventional life. Although marrying an artist has thus

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-5409944072768409642009-07-16T16:47:00.000-04:002009-07-16T16:47:48.447-04:00

I sometimes find myself wondering, What if I had not married? What if I had no Critter? My mind then turns to lines from one of Linda Gregg's poems, "Staying After": Women have houses now, and children. I live alone in a kind of luxury. I wake when I feel like it, read what Rilke wrote to Tsvetaeva.How I sometimes long for that luxury: a large quiet space for my thoughts, for language, for poetry

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-27379270693715398652009-06-16T11:12:00.002-04:002009-06-16T11:19:30.214-04:00

More things we likeAt the end of the day, I nurse and rock the Critter to sleep. Meanwhile, Beckett washes the dishes that have piled up through the course of the day. In my own childhood, I fell asleep to the hum of the dishwasher, and now I hope that the Critter finds the splashing of water, clinking of dishes and silverware, and clatter of pots and pans that comes through the nursery door from

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-84927799090666711022009-06-11T14:19:00.000-04:002009-06-11T14:19:51.853-04:00

I'm often taken aback by other people's ideas about what little boys and girls should be or have, just based on whether they are little boys or little girls. The most startling example occurred several months ago, during story time at the local branch of the public library. At one point, the performer leading that day's activities asked for a male volunteer to be sheriff and a female volunteer

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-82864004894774767342009-05-25T17:07:00.000-04:002009-05-25T17:07:00.254-04:00

I joined the Brooklyn Botanic Garden at the end of March, and since then the Critter and I have seen it come alive. Just a few weeks ago, the trees that are now heavy with lush green were still silvery gray, and in those few weeks, so many blossoms have grown, faded, fallen, and blown away. Two Fridays ago we went to see the bluebells growing in the shade of the tall oak and beech trees; when I

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-36339305797553349902009-05-05T17:10:00.000-04:002009-05-05T17:10:46.511-04:00

I sit in the darkened nursery, the curtains drawn, the Boards of Canada on the CD player, the Critter asleep on my lap: this is when I get my work done. There are days when the only other adults I see besides my husband are the strangers on the street and at the grocery store. Otherwise, I connect with other people mostly through the screen: e-mail, Facebook, this blog. I have the telephone

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-14709839797467524172009-05-03T21:34:00.001-04:002009-05-03T21:35:16.541-04:00

In The New York Times Magazine this weekend, more reasons to wonder (and worry!) about the kind of education we should expect for the Critter. In response to "the American question," I have a few questions of my own: Why the rush? Whom or what are we racing? Why the obsession with standardization, measurement, and rigor? Does anyone who lauds their rigorous academic standards actually know what

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-42368540068708958932009-04-29T15:29:00.000-04:002009-04-29T15:29:23.397-04:00

More things we like I have tended to prefer May, the month of my birth, for its full, lush green. But in recent years I have begun to prefer April and its new green, a pale haze. And now—already!—the daffodils I waited through March to see are drying up, the petals of the magnolia trees are blowing away, and the forsythia have given up their gold. As a work-from-home mommy, I have no time for

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-44443532798727527162009-02-21T14:21:00.000-05:002009-02-21T14:21:11.033-05:00

More things we like In past years, dreary January and February have seemed interminable. This year, even weeks ago it seemed that spring was not too far away—not just around the corner, but close enough. Has time sped up because I am older now and watching the Critter grow so quickly? Have I simply become more patient with the long nights and the cold? Is it because of the extension of Daylight

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-18836230059571960562009-02-07T15:11:00.079-05:002009-02-07T19:33:58.278-05:00

In November or December I noticed my sadness at images of bottle-fed babies. A photo that used to appear on the home page for Skype (and which has since disappeared, thank goodness) particularly disturbed me. It showed a family gathered in a living room: two young parents, their baby girl, and (presumably) her grandparents. The smiling mother leaned against the sofa as the grandfather bottle fed

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-88212561508216980532009-01-18T12:10:00.000-05:002009-01-18T12:30:04.149-05:00

More things we like As I mentioned yesterday, I'm taking in a lot more work these days. Between taking care of the Critter, getting my work done, and that other thing ... what is that other thing??? ... oh, right: sleep ... I find I have much less time to pursue my personal projects, such as this blog. I do not wish to neglect these projects altogether, however! Thus, my goal is to publish one

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-8568754540938359712009-01-17T18:11:00.007-05:002009-01-18T12:04:59.522-05:00

Suddenly I've got more work than I know how to get done (and no babysitter). One current project is to write a handful of passages, items, and lessons for a test preparation book for first graders. Yes, indeed: for first graders. Debates about No Child Left Behind and high-stakes testing aside, I can tell you this much: spending time on the lessons in such a book might help a child improve his or

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-75364524586828248282009-01-01T15:56:00.006-05:002009-01-01T18:10:16.236-05:00

About eleven months have passed since my last run. I had planned to run as long as possible through my pregnancy, but because of the (slight) threat of miscarriage early in the pregnancy, I had to give up strenuous exercise. By the time I was told it was okay to run again, my body had changed enough that running just didn’t feel right anymore. Now I wait for the Critter to get big and strong

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-7477943678047205062008-12-16T13:40:00.001-05:002008-12-17T14:41:02.349-05:00

More things we like As the darkness lingers longer into the morning and falls earlier every evening, I look forward to the holidays. On Hallowe'en, we revel in the darkness. On Thanksgiving, we find comfort in mashed food and pie. And for Christmas, we (those of us who celebrate it) spangle the darkness with lights and song ... and by the time December 25 arrives, the solstice has passed; so

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-22838831323442700502008-12-11T14:19:00.003-05:002008-12-11T16:34:49.374-05:00

And now, a confession. In truth, my stated project of "considering the relationship between works of imagination and reality, specifically what literature has to say, if anything, about how we should live" may be entirely a defensive act. I love to read, and I want to believe that reading is good. True, perhaps the pleasure of reading could in itself be an argument in favor of reading, except

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-29638938497992379402008-12-08T11:12:00.010-05:002008-12-11T16:36:29.136-05:00

To say that I've gone back to work would be misleading for two reasons. One, as a freelancer I generally, though not always, work from home, so I haven't actually gone anywhere. Two, I did some paid work in October, which probably wasn't a great idea (the Critter was born mid-September), but it turns out we do need the money I earned then. Anyway. I'm working again—very, very part time—and trying

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-73212458547087580992008-11-25T11:36:00.000-05:002008-11-25T12:15:18.730-05:00

More things we like This time last year, the Critter existed only as a wish. In January, at the conclusion of my first prenatal yoga class, when I first heard—and sang—the sixth and last song on our lullaby mix, "Long Time Sun" by Snatam Kaur, the Critter was little more than a cluster of quickly dividing cells. Through the spring and summer, as the Critter grew, I sang this song to him nearly

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-47731897995694866912008-11-24T10:50:00.007-05:002008-11-24T13:02:29.653-05:00

More things we like Beckett has pointed out that although the fifth song on our lullaby mix is about babies, it's not really a song for babies. Fine; though I think the true reason for his criticism is that he just doesn't care for Sinéad O'Connor's music. "All Babies" is from Universal Mother, her third album of original songs. Despite the gentle, lullaby-like tone of most of the songs on the

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-55371982465275645472008-11-21T10:06:00.005-05:002008-11-24T12:49:56.789-05:00

More things we like In the book my husband and I used to help us plan our wedding, I found "I Will Always Love You" listed among the most popular songs for the bride and groom's first dance. Bad choice, folks: it's a breakup song. Meanwhile, I sorta wonder about the fourth song on our lullaby mix, "Songbird." It's in the mix because of the tender, cascading "I love you, I love you, I love you"

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-12998077751063506722008-11-20T10:51:00.003-05:002008-11-20T11:26:00.716-05:00

More things we likeI hadn't planned to write about all six songs in our lullaby mix, but I realized that I have something to say about all of them. One purpose of writing about the things I like is, of course, to share them; another is to exercise my critical skills. Can I actually articulate why I like something?The third song in our mix is "To Zion," by Lauryn Hill. My greatest pleasure in this

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-51600285954864736802008-11-19T11:28:00.004-05:002008-11-19T12:17:01.228-05:00

More things we likeAh, well, routines. In the middle of putting the Critter to bed last night, he wound himself back up into a colicky fit. Bless Dr. Karp, though; it took all five S's, but I did calm the Critter down, and we slept well last night.While I soothed the Critter and listened to our lullaby mix, a couple lines in "Beautiful Boy" stood out: "I can hardly wait / To see you come of age."

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-56072157127490165402008-11-18T10:12:00.003-05:002008-11-19T12:14:45.521-05:00

Another in an ongoing series on things we likeFor a month or so there, we were sleeping. Alas, no more. We've got one cranky mommy here and, I'm guessing from his staccato, high-pitched shrieking, one cranky baby, too. Among our strategies for getting more sleep is establishing a bedtime routine. Our routine includes music. Sometimes we listen to lullabies from around the world. Sometimes we

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-70528393392734904632008-11-18T10:06:00.002-05:002008-11-18T10:11:54.816-05:00

My husband is named for this Beckett, not this one. Though we certainly are fans of Josh.

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-64981538230208692552008-11-17T10:23:00.005-05:002008-11-17T12:43:10.189-05:00

I started going to Kate's prenatal yoga classes at the Y when I was only about six weeks pregnant. During the rest period at the end of each class, she often read birth stories from Ina May Gaskin's book. These stories helped me prepare for the natural birth that I was hoping to have. Kate also encourages the mothers in her class to write their own birth stories. Here's ours.... *   *   *

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-29288341948301523242008-11-13T09:21:00.002-05:002008-11-13T10:12:10.619-05:00

To begin my consideration of what literature has to say about how we should live, I look back to an essay I wrote three years ago as my first—and last—column on contemporary literature for a now-defunct Web site. Girl in Landscape is one of my favorite novels (the other two: The Crying of Lot 49 and Persuasion), and in this essay I sort out why this novel matters so much to me. The essay now

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-12135225876554941392008-11-11T09:33:00.003-05:002008-11-11T12:12:26.427-05:00

The first in an ongoing series on things we like In our home, we don't go for Mozart for Infants, nor do we plan to limit the Critter's playlist to sappy crap for kids. There's no need to do either. Here's a list of our favorites for nursing. On the very same day that I decided that it should be the first music that the Critter hears (outside of the womb, anyway), a friend of mine suggested

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317929.post-30116836601919805912008-11-10T15:03:00.001-05:002008-11-10T15:05:14.233-05:00

In Which Raerae Seeks to Revive Her Long-Abandoned Blog ...I call this blog The Variegated Life because I like the word variegated, suggesting autumn trees tossing the sunlight in their many-colored leaves. I prefer to think of my life as variegated rather than as fragmented, although at times my variegated life—a motley patchwork of relationships, jobs, housekeeping, running, writing, zazen,

Rachaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06633096664808745780noreply@blogger.com1